Letters

January 22, 1993

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

Page 3

Center benefit should benefit the center

To the Editors:

I feel compelled to write because I am deeply disturbed by the financial outcome of the Center's second annual Talent Show. I was shocked when I discovered that the Center received only $625, especially considering the amount of time and effort that was donated.

I sincerely believe that there were no financial irregularities, although I have no facts to either confirm or deny such a statement. I think the community deserves some type of accounting, and maybe it has been provided to the Center. Was it? Nothing in your write-up indicated one way or the other. Was there a budget for the show? If so, what was the anticipated net? Did the actual results fall short because of lower than expected attendance or because of higher than expected expenses? Actually, I was surprised that you did not anticipate these questions when you wrote the article.

In addition, although I thoroughly enjoyed Ms. Gomez as Emcee, how much did she cost (including expenses)? Should we reconsider whether or not we need to hire a nationally-known (?) comic? Again, I might feel differently if we raised several thousand dollars, but this was an event that barely broke even, and attendance was down from last year.

I have a suggestion. Next year, set aside a portion of the ticket price to go exclusively to the Center. That way, it is the responsibility of the producer to ensure that the event breaks even. Actually, I would support the Talent Show regardless of whether or not the funds went to the Center, but I do like to make sure that when I support the Center, the Center gets some benefit. By my calculations, the Center received less than $1 for each person who attended. We could have passed a hat!

It is not my intent to stir up trouble. However, I have some legitimate questions that I think can be answered to my satisfaction. I also hope that my suggestions will be seen as constructive criticism, and taken into consideration when planning for next year. The creation of separate Men's and Women's categories, based on feedback from last year's show, was a grand display of wisdom and willingness to listen.

I do not want to see the Talent Show drown in controversy, because I think it is a great event. But if it's going to be billed as a fund-raiser, I'd like to be assured that the benefits to the Center are worth the time and effort.

Michael O'Connor

Count me out

The following was sent to the Republican National Committee in response to a membership-renewal letter:

Greetings:

Thank you for your inquiry; yes, my new [membership] card did arrive. Payment of my dues is another matter.

I will no longer support the RNC or its candidates as long as the religious reactionaries maintain a strangle-hold on the leadership of the Republican party and promote their intolerant agenda of hatred. It is unconscionable to want to exclude gays, lesbians and all other so-called minorities from enjoying their "Inalienable Rights." To me, the "family values" rhetoric is a call for the return to Fascism. A war was fought and many people died to end that kind of thinking. Prejudice has no place in America.

I find this decision painful because I believe in the Republican ideals of free enterprise and individual liberties. Those ideals must apply to everyone, equally. I am a veteran who served to keep America free. What went wrong? How did my party get off track? Is the problem that the demagogues need to have an "enemy" to rally their fanatics?

To make my position perfectly clear, I will again consider supporting the RNC when I hear that all Americans, regardless of race, color, creed, sex, religion, challenge, national origin or sexual orientation or preference are not only welcome as members but encouraged to join.

Jack Power

Though not gay myself, and having no aspirations for that life style, I have had some fine gay friends, and some have had a rough road with very little help form counselors in this field, which was upsetting to me. That is why I am writing.

I had disastrous results when I went for help and I don't want the same for no one, gay or straight. And, since people can be manipulated in counseling sessions, one must make sure that this manipulation is positive and not negative as it was in my case, and the cover-ups were astounding which also included some felonious behavior for not only myself, a woman, but others.

Mr. Radice, since you were concerned about this issue of gay counseling help, maybe you can address these issues in your

But what if they don't paper, too, that I came to just by accident. want to be gay?

The following was written in response to Mike Radice's November "Think about This" column on how to choose a therapist:

Mr. Radice:

The mental health of anyone, straight, gay, or bisexual is serious business, isn't it? Emotionally disturbed people--whether it is a temporary thing due to an unforeseen happening that bends you out of shape, or a long term problem--deserve the very best in psychological help, and that could be members of your gay community, too.

I am happy that you addressed this issue, and also happy that you said that you should "shop around" for doctors and psychologists, for some are not worth the powder to blow them to hell. And, especially if you are gay, one has to be careful due to the number of homophobes in this field, among others that are not, but could care less about the mental health of the individual. I've seen tragedy strike many under counseling care by individuals that could care less about their patients. Thanks for warning the gay community, and I certainly wish that I had this advice when I went searching for help, not necessarily because I was having deep-rooted problems, but my mate was, and I could not cope with same. What I ran into left a terrible taste in my mind, and I did report, in detail, what I found so that other investigations will go on.

The one thing that bothered me about this article was the fact that nothing was said about the gay, lesbian or bisexual that is not happy in this lifestyle, and want out. Let's face it, there are many that aren't, and need help. They have to be careful that they get a counselor that knows how to work with them and can appreciate their problems, and try working with them to solve them.

The suicide rate for gays (homosexuals and bisexuals) is very high. Most of the suicides are a direct result of not being happy with their gay lifestyle, and feeling despair, thus ending it all. This, of course, is just one reason for ending it, but certainly not the only one.

Let's be objective about this, too. Not all gays, lesbians and bisexuals are happy with their lifestyle, and some are damn unhappy, just as we have those gays and bi's that are unhappy in the straight community, but pose as same for various reasons. So, they join the gay community and come out.

May I offer my advice not to go to a counselor that is gay (which includes lesbians and bisexuals) if you are trying to leave this lifestyle. Since they are happy in their lifestyle, or could find the client (patient) attractive, they would not be objective enough to be of help to said person. In fact, they have been known to do serious damage to those that are truly upset with their lifestyle.

way of being. Closeted queers who want to be straight should just go to a Pride festival or the Variety Show and get over it.

You also mentioned that there are many lesbians and gays who are unhappy with their "lifestyle," and are damaging themselves psychologically and physically as a result. In actuality, professional research indicates that the incidence rate of mental health concerns among gays and lesbians is no higher than that among straights. There is no "homosexual" panic out there, outside of the U.S. military and fundamentalist churchfolk. The truth is that it isn't the displeasure with the "lifestyle" that is causing pain for some community members. It is the world's response to the lifestyle that is the problem. Do you honestly think that if the majority of the population were queer, and that being queer was celebrated as fabulously as Christmas or Hanukkah, that there would be one fag or dyke on this planet who would be unhappy with who they were? I think not. Thank you for writing.

Then, may I add, that I am very upset over those people that feel it is necessary to take people "out of the closet." Why? Isn't this really illegal? After all, the Right to Privacy Act of 1974 could mean that, too. I was very upset hearing that Howard Stern character interviewing some gay man that provided "services" for Richard Simmons, the fitness guru. True or not, if this guy provided sexual services as do prostitutes, A buck for the Barrel

I should this be told? Did Simmons and others seek anonymity? Personally, if some lawyers had their heads on straight, they could take this issue up, and start suing these people that offer services that are to be confidential, and at a later date tell all. This guy even said he will let out other information at a later date as the need arises. Tabloids and others pay a lot for the same information. Is this right? Is this legal? Maybe gay services for sex need the person to sign an affidavit of some sort protecting them. Anyone would know that Simmons is gay, but should that not be up to him to tell same?

Why are so many in need of counselors, and if so, shouldn't you screen them before you allow them to advertise? I would have to think that some are Bozos like those that I went to and we must eliminate them.

Happy Holidays for whatever your faith or lifestyle. We are all one; members of the human race, and we must help each other if we can. Hope this letter has helped.

Mike Radice responds:

A Friend

Thank you for your informing letter. I appreciated your response, and felt the pain you described as you wrote about your bad experiences with a therapist. It underscores the necessity of finding a therapist that fits your personality and specific set of issues. I also applaud you for reporting his unprofessional conduct. Your letter was full of interesting observations, and controversial issues. Due to space restrictions, I cannot respond to each one. However, I would like to address a couple of your concerns.

First, if I read your letter correctly, you suggested that I was wrong when I did not provide information on how to select counselors who can change a persons sexual orientation. I am aware the there are a minority of queer-folk out there wearing out the patent leather on their ruby slippers, trying to wish themselves into the land of straightdom. My advice to them is to invest in some tennis shoes and get to work on accepting and embracing their queerness. Being gay or lesbian is something to celebrate, not something to run away from. There is no professional evidence that queers, through therapy, can be made into straights. The professional studies reporting on the few who claimed to have made the transition, also reported that those individuals slid back into their queer lives at some point. Let's face it, being queer cannot and should not be erased from our basic

To the Editors:

Mike Radice

Early in 1991 Cracker Barrel restaurant chain issued a memo stating the company would not employ people "whose sexual preferences fail to demonstrate normal heterosexual values." It is reported the company fired at least 17 women and men on the basis of their perceived sexual orientation.

Queer Nation-Atlanta has been in the vanguard of trying to right this injustice and insult to the Gay and Lesbian community. They have organized picket lines and involved a coalition of organizations in ongoing protests.

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In addition to the Queer Nation actions, thousands of individuals across the United States have purchased single shares of Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, Inc. and had the certificates sent to them. The goal of this action is to increase the number of single share owners so they will be a burden to the corporation, a significant cost to maintain, a constant reminder that discrimination is wrong and there are tens of thousands of people who are willing to give management the message in this way.

Since the "Buy One" campaign started, over 2000 people have responded. The numbers are not great enough to be a major concern and it is time to step up the pressure. Gays, Lesbians, and friends are urged to buy a share of the Barrel. Let us get the message across to business that discrimination based on sexual orientation will not be condoned. There are more than enough members and friends of the Gay and Lesbian community to make the largest company be concerned that this type of action can be a possibility, this is an opportunity to get the point across.

Join the action, get a piece of the Barrel! For information on how to buy a share, you can mail a SASE to Carl Owens, P.O. Box 8233, Atlanta, GA 30306, or call 404-5228020.

Carl Owens

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